Need HVAC on this trip

My bestie Chad goes camping at every opportunity.  He just cares about to drive out into the middle of nowhere, traipse for fifths through the woods, and set up camp at some scenic location. He carries very little with him, and is satisfied to sleep on the ground. Chad constantly tries to get me to go camping with him. I would rather stay home. If I’m going to take a holiday, I’d like to book a hotel room and appreciate room service. I don’t want to go without the amenities that make life more pleasant and convenient.  I’ve worked very hard, gone to a lot of effort and spent a tremendous amount of currency to make my home perfectly comfortable. I love my microwaves, root beer maker, refrigerator and oven. I appreciate luxuries such as hot showers, flushing toilets and overhead lights. I don’t want to go without TV, internet and my queen sized bed. I absolutely don’t want to be at the mercy of the weather. I’m accustomed to a smart temperature control which allows me to regulate the home’s indoor temperature from virtually somewhere. If I wake up in the middle of the night, and I’m a bit cold, I simply tap my iphone and raise the temperature control setting. If I have the option to head home from work early, I use a companion app to make sure I’m welcomed by the Heating and A/C plan to the perfect temperature. I’m not subjected to rain, wind, humidity, heat, or bugs. I have no desire to leave my temperature controlled home to douse myself in bug spray, bathe in a lake, and cook over a fire.